Monday, September 29, 2008

Chuck Norris to the rescue

Ok...so I must have gotten into something, because my computer is acting all kinds of crazy. It won't let me search on certain things or rather when I click to be connected to a link from Google I get redirected to a porn site. Uh! It's a grose one too! Every time I accidentally see it I feel the need to go take a shower. Ewe...

So since my wonderful Cyr is now home he is going to attempt to fix it for me. I even installed a new Antivirus and after I ran a scan it said I had nothing wrong. Cyr said he think's he knows what is causing the problem. Some IP thingy directing me to blah, blah...then I lost track of what he was saying because I think I saw a bird outside. Anyway, should be all fixed up tomorrow.

So today I leave you with a little entertainment I recieved in an email. I have not thought much of good old Chuck Norris since I don't have "Walker Texas Ranger" playing on the WB (or wherever it plays now) when I surf by. When I first read this I didn't laugh at first, then it grew on me the more I read. Like a litterary fungus...

Why Chuck Norris should be feared;


-The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.

-There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

-The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

-Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."

-There are no weapons of mass destruction. Just Chuck Norris.

-Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.

-If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.

-Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

-Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

-If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

-Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

-The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.

-What was going through the minds of Chuck Norris's victims before they died? His shoe.

-Chuck Norris has an unbeatable poker face, concealed beneath an even more unbeatable poker beard.

-Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

-Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.

-In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

-Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

-Chuck Norris Isn't funny, stop laughing.

-Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

-Chuck Norris doesn't own a stove, toaster oven or a microwave... Because revenge is a dish that's best served cold.

-Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.

-Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

-Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.



3 comments:

Andromeda said...

Lol, what a good way to start my morning. They show it on TV here, but I forget what station.

Marie said...

Ladies, if you do miss him : it plays on TF1 every Sunday at 1:25 pm...well, I think it's still on.
Good luck with your computer !

Susan in Lille said...

Andromeda - glad to make you smile!!

Marie - That's great! Thanks for the info. Computer is not looking good...see next post. :-(