I have posted once beforehere about French TV. If you check out that post you will even get to see The Dukes of Hazzard theme song being sung in French. Really...it's a must see. I'll be here when you get back, go ahead, click and listen.
So, if you are thinking "I would love a little more French singing" then you have come to the right blog my friends!! Here we have the theme song to Dallas. Now you might being saying to yourself "but there are no words to the Dallas theme song Susan!" Oh contraire mon frere. (Or soeur.) I really like this clip because it has some dialog in French with subtitles in Flemish. I think it's Flemish. My favorite part; "DAA-las!!"
Awesome. Right?
So here is a Name that Tune for you. I have found that I am a complete dork like 70s French music. Specifically Claude Francois. :-) He is a French singer who I think Cyr showed me because he thought he was funny. Turns out I totally dig this guy. I have a 3 CD set that I luuuuuuv. I think Cyr might regret introducing me to Claude. He does a lot of songs you might know in English. Such as "Mandy", remember Barry Manilow? Claude actually was the first to do "My Way". I love that song in Spanish, and it's not bad in French either. So anyone out there recognize this gem? The French title is "Dimanche Apres-midi" translated it means "Sunday Afternoon".
I'll leave you with that bit o'trivia. I'm going to listen to Claude.
Ok, this is a bit crude...but I cracked up when I watched it! Now Cyr and I are not running in this race of course. Being from Texas I like to compare our relationship to team roping rather than racing. ;-)
Anyway, I am feeling much better about life today. I am truly excited about the people that are coming in and am thrilled that I am going to have time to spend with each one of them. Enjoy this little video, I am off to buy my bouquet and the boutonnieres!!
Currently I am trying to type but I have a very strong urge to blow my nose. Which by the way, won't blow when I blow it. I just end up forcing air to the top of my throat, then my ears threaten to pop. Of course there is that odd running thing every now and then so you have to keep a tissue near so you don't drip on yourself and offend the people around you.
Cyr took me to the pharmacy and I got some kind of spray and some pills to take. These are serious pills too! Four times a day then one at night for four days. Maybe tomorrow I won't be the irritating mouth breathing person you can actually hear.
Inhallllle....exhaaale.
Ewe...that's me.
I also discovered something interesting about the French language. It's virtually impossible to speak French as a non-native speaker (ok, complete beginner) when you have a stopped up nose. It's like my mouth can't form the words because the pressure is off or something. I have suddenly forgotten how to form the words. Example: We went to lunch and I wanted a hot mint tea. You would have thought I was trying to order a 5 course meal. I could not get it out, I had to say it I think three times before the waiter got it. Cyr was so patient, he just smiled and let me talk loud and spray spittle on the waiter. I think the waiter thought it was amusing. He had that raised eyebrow (both of them) look and a smile. Like I was a three-year-old trying to do a magic trick. For a person who really doesn't like three-year-olds.
Cyr didn't try to order for me because he knew I was already irritated at the lady who sat us and offered "Shall I bring you a menu in English?" said in French very quietly to Cyr. My poorly tied scarf must have given me away as being non-French. Cyr declined, saying; "No thank you, she understands." (in French of course) Then the lady says; "I'll bring you one anyway."
What....Did.....You....Say?
Granted, maybe I'm a bit touchy because someone filled both of my nostrils with cement glue last night, but I was offended. Seriously lady, guess you people don't get the "no means no" thing here eh? When she came back with the menus I gave her the one eye brow raised look and Cyr reaches out and takes the English menu. Ha...how sweet is that?! Low and behold I was even able to find my agneau (lamb) without a problem.
Of course she was not our waiter, that was the guy mentioned above. Darn it...I would have felt much better getting a little spittle on her and forcing her to hear my stuffy nosed French. Oh well, maybe next time. Even if I feel fine. :-)
Ok...so I must have gotten into something, because my computer is acting all kinds of crazy. It won't let me search on certain things or rather when I click to be connected to a link from Google I get redirected to a porn site. Uh! It's a grose one too! Every time I accidentally see it I feel the need to go take a shower. Ewe...
So since my wonderful Cyr is now home he is going to attempt to fix it for me. I even installed a new Antivirus and after I ran a scan it said I had nothing wrong. Cyr said he think's he knows what is causing the problem. Some IP thingy directing me to blah, blah...then I lost track of what he was saying because I think I saw a bird outside. Anyway, should be all fixed up tomorrow.
So today I leave you with a little entertainment I recieved in an email. I have not thought much of good old Chuck Norris since I don't have "Walker Texas Ranger" playing on the WB (or wherever it plays now) when I surf by. When I first read this I didn't laugh at first, then it grew on me the more I read. Like a litterary fungus...
Why Chuck Norris should be feared;
-The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
-There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
-The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
-Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
-There are no weapons of mass destruction. Just Chuck Norris.
-Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
-If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.
-Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
-Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
-If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
-Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
-The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.
-What was going through the minds of Chuck Norris's victims before they died? His shoe.
-Chuck Norris has an unbeatable poker face, concealed beneath an even more unbeatable poker beard.
-Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
-Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
-In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
-Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
-Chuck Norris Isn't funny, stop laughing.
-Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
-Chuck Norris doesn't own a stove, toaster oven or a microwave... Because revenge is a dish that's best served cold.
-Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
-Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass.At night.
-Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Cyr is in China this week and sent me a few photos of the signs he has in his hotel room. One of my favorites is this sign by the bathtub: In case it's hard to read...it says;
Our honorific guests: For your safey and preventy the wed and slippery floor. Please put the bath curtain into the bathrub when you are washing for avoiding the water spatter out of the bathrub. At the same. We prepare the nail-clipper for you in the house-keeping. Thanks for your cooperating.
I also like this one he took of the laundry bag. It says;
To serve you whole heartdly makes you feel convenient and happy during travel.
Nothing like being served "heartdly". Being the agreeable eater he is he also told me he tried a dish that looked very much like snails that had forked tails. Well, turned out it was duck tongue. Seriously, how many duck tongues would it take to make one meal?! There was also donkey served I believe in the same meal. Such a lucky fella to have all these fun things thrown after him!
He sent me some pictures of menus but they are hard to read so I will just tell you what some of my favorites were;
Steamed Mouse-Shaped Fish (Maybe a children's favorite? Also known as the "Mickey Fish"?) Crispy Freid Loach (Please don't let that be a typo with the "L") Sauteed Chicken Feet (no thanks, I like my feet fried) Jew's Ear with Chrysanthemum (I just can't say anything about this one...) Flavored Crispy Elbow (after the previous entry I am not sure I want to know what kind of elbow.) Sauteed Crispy Stomach with Pickled Peppers (Peter Piper's favorite I'm sure, but again...the stomach of what?) Spicy Ox Spinal Cord (Whew, I just hate the dull flavored spinal cord) Chicken Stomach with Chili Pot (if this is like Amsterdam "Pot" I might need it to eat the "Chicken Stomach") Sauteed Duck Lips in Maggie Sauce (So that's why I have never seen a duck's lips! They are all in China being served for dinner! With Maggie apparently...)
I don't think he actually tried any of the above. But in case you are offered, I hear the duck tongue is nothing to spit at. Ha...actually he said it was pretty chewy...
I decided to buy some meals that I could cook on my own. I figured all I would need to do would be to enter the directions in the Google translation tool and voila, I would have a meal!
Step 1:
"In a large skillet, heat a medium heat 2 soup spoons of olive oil. Pour the rice and let it brown for 2 minutes. About stirring occasionally."
Ok, not too bad. I have it so far. I can find a soup spoon.
Step 2:
"Pour 30 cl water on the stove (a proportion using the trait dosage inscribed on the shield) add the contents of the packet of spices. Mix and as soon distribute the content of the box garnish on rice."
Ok, just going to ignore the "trait dosage" thing and use 30 cl of water. I think that is 300 ml right? Step 3:
"Mix again, wear a ebullition then cover the stove and cook a low heat about 20 minutes until a absorption of broth."
Really? I have to wear "a ebullition" while cooking? Well I am not sure I have one of those laying around. If I do, I don't know if I want to wear it all alone. I think I might save that for when Cyr is back in town. I had no idea how involved French cuisine was.
Ran across this and just had to share. I wonder if they show this in classrooms to young girls about traveling to the US...
So very strange!! Catchy tune though...
Not much going on here. Cyr leaves Sunday to go to Houston for a two week training course. The super cool thing is that I'm going to be there next weekend for a long visit so we will be there for a week together. Yeah!!
I am going to have to, I mean get to navigate the train to Brussels to get to the airport on my own. I'm sure it will be no problem. Well enjoy the video. I'm going to go practice those moves about "I've been robbed by two men!" just in case my train to Brussels is difficult.
"Sherif, Fais-Moi Peur!" Translation: "Sheriff, Scare Me!" (sort of "I dare you to scare me Sheriff!') Reality: The French title of "The Dukes of Hazzard"
I can see the big green monster that goes by the name "Jealousy" rearing it's head as you read this. Yes my friends, it is true. I do have the ability, dare I say opportunity, to watch the Duke boys in all their tight jeaned glory race around in the General Lee while speaking French. Please, I ask again, please...if you are feeling a little down right now. Just click and listen to the intro of "Sherif, Fais-Moi Peur!" You can't help but smile. Really, the French have some great music, but country really isn't one of their strengths. It is so hard to sound tough while singing in French.
Feel free to bookmark this video and watch it often. One of the things you should know about French TV is that they are typically a few seasons behind the US in popular shows. I think this is mainly due to the fact that they do not subtitle. Everything is dubbed. They show "Cold Case" and a few newer shows at night but I have yet to see them. I typically turn the TV on during the day. As is true in the US and must be so in all countries; daytime TV is special. Special meaning not really special but more like "My cousin Jimmy is marrying my other cousin Brenda. Isn't that special?" Not only do they have super cool shows on during the day. They realize, as surly is the case, that just one show really isn't enough. They show 2-4 episodes in a row every day and work through all the seasons. Then they replace the show with whatever is next in the stack. When I first moved here they had 4 episodes of "The Nanny" back to back every day. Did you know they ended the series with Fran having a baby and then the family moved to LA? Yeah...I know. Crazy. I mean, how can she live in LA with that accent and not be laughed at all the time?
So you can imagine my fascination at watching Kelly from Beverly Hills 90210 whine in French. What is even cooler (if that in fact is a word) is that they try to match the voice of the dubber to the actual actor. Thus allowing Kelly to be just as whiny in French as she is in English. This fact in itself will cause you to completely understand why now Sylvester Stallone is a channel stopper. I can't pass him up. The French Sly is hypnotic. Like watching a 4 year old child carry a full glass of red wine to Mommy while walking across a white carpeted room and singing "Y-M-C-A!". Come on...everyone has to dance just a little when you hear it.
I read somewhere that listening to French TV or music can help you get used to the rhythm of the language and can subconsciously help you learn the language quicker. I'm a little leery about what I am going to "subconsciously" learn, but hey, maybe being able to say "Je suis Rosco P Coletrain" will someday help me. Here are a few other daytime shows of note:
Le Prince de Bel Air - go Will Smith! Magnum - stop...it's Magnum PI you dirty minded folks! "PI" doesn't translate well. (side note - Tom Selleck is for me the only man I can find sexy with a mustache. All others should refrain from even giving this a try.) Buffy Contre les Vampires - Sarah Michelle Geller at her best Les Simpsons - yeah, that guy still does the rude "Ha-hAAA" laugh in French VIP - Pamela Anderson's boobs are still HUGE in France (so many ways to read that) Fame - This is the 1982-1987 series that was on TV. This is a new one they started last week with a 4 show back to back viewing a day. I totally forgot that "Aeriel" (Lori Singer) from Footloose was in that show. Gilmore Girls - oh my gosh...these people talk fast in English. I just sit there with my mouth open and try to catch something they say. Les Super-Flics de Miami - Miami Supercops. Ha...this is actually a 1985 Italian movie but the title is so funny I had to share. Have not seen it, but it is on tonight so I might have to check it out. I saw a few Ally McBeal episodes too. Oh that dancing baby...
Well, I'm off to work my subconscious into speaking French! A'bientot dawgs! (In the words of the French Will Smith)
So...I have a friend (hello Marine!) who is actually from Lille and now lives in Houston. I consulted her on who she could recommend to cut my hair. I have a little gray going on and wanted to cover that up and get a trim. Once I had the correct person to call I bravely called and set the appointment myself. Surprisingly I was able to actually book a color and a cut. I did however have Cyr call them back to confirm the time and make sure I didn't book a tattoo or body piercing.
Part I - The Color This morning I found the street on the map, made my way downtown and was even early. As I have mentioned, I have problems with French when I get nervous. After finally figuring out where to sit and establishing that I was in fact "Sue-zan" I then had to somehow tell the color girl how I wanted my hair. I'm seated at a round table (the Knights of Clarol I guess) with 5 other ladies getting their hair colored. But this is France therefore I was drinking an espresso and feeling very fashionable while pretending to be able to read French Vogue. I then proceeded to tell her that "j'aime bien mon cheval rouge". Which directly translated means "I like my horse red." Surely I am not the first person to make this mistake. "Hair" is "cheveaux" but all I could think of was "cheval"! I guess they got the point though, because I have to say; my hair color is rockin!!
Part II - The Cut So then I move on to Alexandre. He has a shaved head which leads me to believe that at least he is good with clippers as I saw no scaring or fresh wounds on his head. After miming that he could do what he wanted as long as I didn't look like a "champignon" translate "mushroom". He then called three people over to see how much hair I had. No kidding, it was like I was famous for 20 seconds. I just laughed and used my word of the day "cheval" (horse). He then began clipping and took an hour to create my new due. About 45 minutes into it a woman with wet hair sat down and glowered at me until he was done. Apparently I was not his last appointment. She had very thin short hair and I thought, "man...he could cut her hair while I took a trip to the ladies room." As it turns out I was close to being right. He put me under a dryer so my hair wouldn't "POUFF!!" (his words, not mine) and she was done by the time I was dry. No 20 seconds for her.
So I now have a new French hair cut and am ready to face both the washing machine repair guy and the oven delivery guys that are supposed to come Thursday. Auchan is delivering our new oven and fixing our clothes dryer. This will be the third time Auchun has been here delivering things. Same guys both times, not 10 words of English between them.
Stay tuned to see if I can use "cheval" again this week....
