One more day...

...until Duncan gets his manhood cut off. I hate to be heartless, but I can not friggin wait for this cat to be "less of a man".

Lately Duncan has taken to meowing very loudly and frequently beginning at 11:30 and not stopping until about 6am. The little bastard. We have tried locking him in the bathroom with water and food. He then proceeded to claw for 6 hours (not kidding) under the door ripping up the carpet that butts up to the door. Then he would eat the carpet and throw it up. This is the first cat vomit I have had to deal with. Now I know why I never had a cat.

We have also tried the "squirting with water guns" approach. As a matter of fact I have two (one for me one for Cyr) double barrel hand gun style water guns to get him with. He runs off then is back a few minuets later. I'm fairly certain he thinks its a game.

I have read a lot on line about this and there are many thoughts. Let me share with you what I have found starting from the most commonly suggested:

1. Ignore the cat at all costs and praise him during the day when he is quiet. --- I have tried this but I can't help but cry out for him to "shut the hell up" in my sleep. It just comes out.
2. Shut the cat in a room by itself and pay no attention to it. --- See above tale of carpet destruction and puke.
3. Get him neutered. --- Within 24 hours of this post he will be under the knife. If I didn't have it scheduled I swear I might do it myself with a Ginsu and some super glue to close the wound (no way am I putting a needle near an injured cat).
4. Get another cat to keep the first one company. --- I hope this person gets over his/her crack addiction quickly.
5. Play with your cat and keep him awake before bed. --- Yes, I am trying. I am poking and prodding and playing and such.
   
6. Use a shock collar. --- Is it cruel that I actually thought of this first prior to reading about it online? Our new rental house should have a room far enough away from ours that we won't be able to hear him so I am hoping this won't be a big deal in two weeks. Plus maybe the neutering will help. I know this sounds cruel to many, but all I can think is that my Mom spanked me when I was a kid and I turned out fine. Sort of.
7. Use Feliway, the cat pheromone thing to calm them down. --- Have looked it up and am thinking of getting some to put in the rent house before we move in. How friggin dorky is that?! It would be like "Welcome Duncan to your new abode. Sit. Relax. Be calm because you have nothing to fear here. Smell your acceptance little one. You are the King Cat in this castle."
   
8. Realize you are not meant to be a cat owner and find a better home with a deaf person for your cat. --- Cyr and I are too attached to get rid of the little guy. He just might never get to sleep in the same room, or within 35 feet of us, again.

So wish us luck. We have one more tormented night of sleep ahead of us and then tomorrow it's off to the vet! Maybe he knows it's coming. Maybe that is why he's difficult.