Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Some times you're the windshield...

Today I might have been the bug.

Today was day 3 of class, really day 2 of learning. I'm so tired from all the thinking and walking, but it feels good to be doing something again. It's funny though, I go through these cycles all day in class. It feels like this;
Oh yeah, ok, I get that. That's good.
I know that. I'm understanding French.
I rock.
Ohh - look a bee outside!
What? What did she say?
I don't know that word, why are people laughing?
I should laugh. I'm laughing.
I think I want to cry..
Oh, I got that, ok, I understand...
Please don't call on me.
I am understanding her.
Ohh - look a bird!
I feel so ADD ridden it's crazy! After class today I met O for dinner. She is the Canadian girl that was too advanced for the class. I was super frustrated with the second half of class and felt like bursting into tears. The 15 minute walk to meet her felt good, it gave me a chance to burn off some frustration. Then it started raining. Of course I didn't have my umbrella with me, did you really even have to ask? I was meeting O in the middle of the square so I stood with my wet-rat self under an awing until I saw her.

Once we started talking she could see how upset I was. We went and had a drink and she helped me with just some basics. She even drilled me and had me conjugate verbs. By the time we were done with dinner I felt like I could go back to class tomorrow and not feel completely stupid.

So right now I'm on an upclimb on my French Language Roller Coaster, I hope the drop isn't too bad tomorrow.


Anonymous said...

Don't worry, you'll get there eventually! Everything will just fall into place, maybe not tomorrow but eventually and like Sam mentioned elsewhere, it's really good you're in a more advanced class, otherwise it's so boring slogging it out with the slowcoaches (plus the teachers don't like that either).

Justin said...

Okay, stop beating yourself up! That is completely normal. When I first arrived I would sit through meeting with my co-workers and fight to follow, but as the conversation goes on my mind would wander due to fatigue and bang! I was lost. It is just that easy, and is impossible to think you will be able to focus 100% all the time. It is very tiring learning a language, especially if you are in a more advanced setting. But trust me, you will learn the language faster because you are challenged so much... It is a good thing! So take time for yourself after each lesson and relax. I think it was a good thing you were able to meet up with the Canadian and speak some English while she clarified and quizzed you afterwards. That is such a perfect way to rest and reflect. But don't beat yourself up! You will get there, and each time the pain will be less and less.

Jennie said...

T'inquiète pas ! C'est normal ! Seriously, your mind is going to wander because it's impossible to understand every little thing the teacher says. You don't have ADD, don't worry! :)

Susan said...

Le Tigre, Justin and Jenny....
Thank you for your words of support!! It's so good to feel like i have a team of people out there that know what I'm going through and have good things to say. I know I'm going to learn this language, it's just not going to happen in one week.

Probably not even in three...darn it...